A Touch of Occultism
An essay on Spirituality
There is this sense of space, sense of time that binds me when someone mentioned the word ‘witchcraft’. It was as if I massive flashback of my world when I was a thirteen year old boy. A dream-like memory encrypted in my mind fleshes (substantiate) out dozens of experiences unbounded by time and place. It was almost a wonderful memory that I couldn’t forget.
When I was thirteen, I believe I am a witch and a psychic by acquisition. It was when I felt this rush, this burst of energy that encased my body, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak. I could only feel the heavy breathing. That surge of life pumping into my lungs, almost hot and delicate. This flux that I repeatedly feel was for me magical and dark, something beyond human interface, as if I was binding with the true Essence of life. I with the best interest, researched on harnessing such energy.
So, I frantically research books and internet websites, looking for answers, for methods to fit every piece of the puzzle together, thereby creating this world I call ‘My Paranormal world’. I was never a Disney land or a society of my thoughts but for me it was a religion. It was I have founded a federation in which I was the only one participating. I also created a network of believers, my friends, who are also my skeptics.
I was obsessed with witchcraft. I was a fanatic. And I was glad it was never rooted from the books I read like Harry Potter Series or the movies I saw like ‘the craft’. It came definitely from the best of my interest. As if I drove myself into believing something divine and subconscious, I scurried into potholes and blunders which I couldn’t arrange. But the only thing I knew then was that the randomness I have was because of my true nature, that I was a part of the Earth, Water, Wind, and Fire. And that structure-less world was a definitive consciousness that creates me.
I searched for books, like Lewelyn’s Guide to Wicca, or the ubiquitous Tony Perez’ Mga Panibagong Kulam, and by a sudden realization I threw it away. I dumped everything in a garbage can after my Catechesis teacher told me that witchcraft is a mortal sin and is abolished by Catholic Church. It was that very moment that I realized a new path, a new direction in which I considered now ‘my world’. I knew it exactly that moment when everything plunges into a garbage bin. I couldn’t help but wonder, why of a young age of thirteen considered witchcraft a religion and grew up to believe that philosophy, science and psychology are the fundamental reasons of living life?
I should ask myself that.
And most importantly: how, why my beautiful mind is structured to find the ‘structure-less’ most amusing?