Egotism versus PEACE
A blog on a close encounter with the EGOTISTICAL kind
July 8, 2008. On my way back to the dorm, I stopped by Lola Lita’s for a lunch take-out. I ordered half serving of their delicious sprouted mongo, and a piece of a plump pork chop.
“Sir, can you please add catsup for my take out?” I asked the tindero ignoring people around me.
“Sure.” The tindero replied cordially. “That would be 57 pesos, sir.”
I grab my wallet from the back of my pocket and took a hundred peso bill.
“Sir, do you have 2 peso coins?” The tindero asked.
“Sure, I have. Let me just get it.” I grab my coin purse deeply hidden inside my backpack. It was so deep that I tilted a little backwards. When I did, that’s what happened. I stepped on the bare foot of a singular man behind; he was wearing white Havaianas Flip flops.
Terrified yet busy looking for my coin purse, I apologize in a quiet manner. “Sorry po.”
This man, wearing I think a F&H drizzled red shirt with glittery letterings, didn’t understand what I just said. Or is he practically deaf?
“Pwede ka bang magsorry?” He was furious. I could feel the heat inside the canteen. It was
expanding and I’m trapped.
“Sorry!” A little louder this time, I exclaimed. I was very certain this that he could hear this and he could understand it perfectly, but ladies and gentlemen, No!
He said, “So pinilit pa kitang magsorry. Upakan kita kaya dyan?”
I looked at his eyes; it was beaming red, and angry. It was a suggestion, and that suggestion had made an impression on me. This time, my blood started to boil. I couldn’t say a word, because I am not raised by my parents to brawl on anything uncanny or foolish. I adjusted my temper on the situation and eased myself by ignoring such incidence. I paid the 2 peso coins to the cashier.
The red-eyed man exited while bumping me hard on the side. We were wearing the same color: red.
What I did was observed and assessed the situation. So I went inside G. Miranda and on my way inside I took a glimpsed on the busy hallway of the shopping center, and there I saw him again. He was turning his way back, so I went inside the store.
“What am I doing here?” I thought. “I should do something here. I must buy I pen to let the time pass. My blood is boiling like mad.” So I grab the cheapest pen and went for it. I finally decided to go back to the dorm.
On my way, I reassessed myself again. What could possibly happen if my upbringing wasn’t wired to immediate adjustments on temper? What if I was a war freak?
Then I analyzed the man, his psychological nature. Here is my theory: He is a graduate student of U.P. He lives in some condo unit nearby. He has just awoken by that time, about an hour before the incident. He had a withdrawal syndrome for coffee. He had a breakup with his girlfriend two to three weeks ago. He was raised in a noisy environment, maybe on a city. He was very busy with his stuff. On that day, he was deprived from sleep.
I couldn’t help but think about egotism all this time. A closed system of vivid self-interest and obsession on self-centered bodies of disoriented knowledge - - - this is a definition of egotism. It is rational that these conflicts of self-interest may cause mayhem in society. This leads to the question, is it okay to brewed fear on egotistic beings? Or more importantly, what are possible consequences of a rational behavior intervened by an irrational being?
Egotism is the root of all evil, not money. For this body of concept, I couldn’t stand a tolerant reaction. I am of all people a peace loving person. I was raised to enjoy solitude and quietness, and that is how my family works. We enjoy Christmas by a simple family gathering, no fuzz, no jazz, no carol, just eating the midnight feast quietly. We are sleep-dwelling creatures, of course except me, who find relaxation in a form of sleep: siestas in the afternoon and an 8-hour rest in the evening. I had to live this way, to find peace. Yet, this man showed me the exact opposite. He expected me to react in violent terms, to suggest a motive of disorder and misconduct. My environment is not suited for such behavior. All must learn how to control temper.
Find peace men! That’s the only thing were most happy about.