Days are just it!
a post of a good day
a post of a good day
What happened on Oct. 4, 2008, is really a good one. I had two exams: one, career-defining one, and the other a great validation. Is this an awakening of a dragon?
I had this idea running inside my head. It's about, as always, my egotistical self, and being successful. God! Should i spare myself with these thoughts? I am trying to assess myself on the path i will be taking, searching for the perfect the direction . A path where i could learn the best in life. it is always good to think about things. And it is even better after taking the last exam for the semester.
Lucky, i guess to have Maam Ninete Ramirez with us. She said great things about being a Chemical Engineer, and as much as i can express, she is the best in being a good teacher. I remember her saying during the the first day of class: "Sigurado na ba kayo na Chem. Eng'g na ang kukunin ninyo?". I was astounded by it's simplicity and directness of the question.
Am i, in my heart, a Chemical Engineer?
What a tempting thought!
We had our last exam on the topics PRODUCTION OF SULFURIC ACID AND OLEUM and PRODUCTION OF LIME. it's a two shot thing. This is the second part of our "Progressive Exam". I never thought this kind of exam exists in U.P. Goodness, why am I so lucky? So after finishing the 2-question, harder than hell exam, we had a party! yes, a party, though walang dancing and all. We enjoyed catered food provided by our dearly instructor's mother. Thanks to her, i don't have to worry and buy lunch.
It's a great ending of subject, but also a beginning of a career, or is it?
Why did i took Chemical Engineering by the way? If I could sort my reasons in a numbered style it would be like this:
2.) I am good at Chemistry, Physics and Math when i was in high school 'cause, as you know, i am that geek valedictorian from the prestigious Batch 2006 (hi! fellow batchmates) of Sorsogon National High School.
3.) There is money in Engineering.
4.) I have to follow the stupid, old lineage of valedictorian graduates from our school who pursued Chemical Engineering in U.P. Diliman.
5.) My chemistry teacher, Maam Domasig, urged me to go for it.
6.) I want more of the challenge.
7.) some other sad reasons back in high school
It is sad. Even more miserable to put it in a numbered list. The essential facts of being me right know, being labeled as B.S. Chemical Engineering stud, is summarized under this list. I hope i made a very good choice way back in high school. But here is the thing, i am not saying that i am not contented by this Chemical Engineering feat that i am working out. In fact, my intellectual capability is satisfied. Unless, of course, if I note that i had a big, red 5.0 for my ES 11 two semester ago.
However, the most important thing, Chemical Engineering does not give me emotional satisfaction: the thing that i am always putting forward is also the most neglected. Emotional satisfaction is putting all your heart out, shouting to the world that you love a certain thing. As for me, i do not shout Chemical Engineering to the world. I am shouting it in front of myself. Not to inspire me but to wake me that this is reality, that this is who i am going to be: a chemical engineer, sitting on a pipe, waiting for the reactor to finish it's thing.
Is this the picture that i have in mind?
I don't think so!
The picture is: me, waking up inside my apartment at Upper East Side, Manhattan, dressed in a Hermes bathrobe, getting ready for an Art Gallery Opening at Brooklyn. I am a well-dressed 25 year old bachelor, engaged to a very handsome Filipino Pianist (named L) who just had a piano recital two nights before. I am an author of six critically-acclaimed novels. I am earning about 25 million dollars a year, and humble about it. I am well respected essayist and critic of film, literature, and the arts. I am the most influential person next to Bill Gates. I am also a consultant of a big shot environmental firm (this may be the closest thing to chemical engineering). I work always at home, in my laptop. My mother and father comes to New York everytime they have time. And also i go back to the Philippines every holiday with my fiance.
Upper East Side, Manhattan....Choked? I guess so. But then, everytime i wake up, i have always had this feeling that this images are just inches away from reality. Yes, i felt that i am living in that dream. And that at any moment right now, just a little time, I will be living in my dream warm blooded.
I always believe in small steps. Each day i would write in my journal about my progress to reaching this enormous dream. A fulfilment everyone cannot resist.
And i also believe that big things entails a lot of set backs and admonitions. Big things are just big things. Imagination, is it really the key to unlocking the greatest thing inside.
Taking chemical engineering is a small step for me. The big step is realizing how good it was to believe in dreams.