a reflection


my analysis on Bad Education (2003),
my thoughts on avant-garde cinema,
my notions on film criticism,
my cinephilic desires on Psycho (1960),
my half-baked contribution to UNSPOKEN CINEMA
my screen shots on MEMENTO (2000), UGETSU (1953), and LUST, CAUTION (2007),
my sample letter of condolence,
my YM Conversations with pertinent people,

just about everything of my past two months of work got deleted.

The thing is i cannot blame somebody. I may have blamed the person last night who was using my laptop. He might have mistaken the folder and deleted it. I may have blamed myself, but i should not, and i say it plainly like that without reason. I wanted to look at this as something of great value. It's always been like that, when you lost something, you grieve a lot or sometimes little. But then you end up letting go of the person or the thing. Maybe with this loss, as what Nietzsche said, i can generate wonderful things. If you ask me how, i don't really know. But then it always has to start from a beginning.

Beginning is when one forge another path. One must bathe himself with light, a luminating incandescent light. This is to renew oneself, and to shed darkness from the soul. Everything has to start with a new self. It is as though a scene in my favorite film depicts what i feel today. Bagheri, the main character of Kiarostami's masterpiece A Taste of Cherry(1997), says: "It's longer but a better more beautiful way."

It fits perfectly, the lines, the scene. Films like A Taste of Cherry made the audience contemplate. It treat the audience as a whole being, human and true. As oppose to conventional Hollywood film making nowadays, when the audience's perspective is manipulated by riveting melodramas(almost at soap operatic levels) to subjective shots of serial killers, in reference to Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO.

In anyway, I have moved on. I slept and moved on. I made this post to mark that transformation and to assure myself that, whatever the meaning of this, perhaps a happenstance can lead to many possibilities, good possibilities.